After Ever After
by Vivere Sine Timore
Summary: <html><head></head>Of course it had been Jules who had been the one to figure him out. And of course she would tell the chief. How could he have thought he could hide something like this from someone as perceptive as her? Shawn knew it was time to leave again.</html>
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys. So, I've been writing a few things for Psych, and I thought of this little one shot. But now that it's actually written, I'm thinking of maybe making it a two-shot. So I guess I'll let you guys read it and help me decide.**

* * *

><p>Shawn pulled up to the apartment and simply stared at it for a moment. Yes, it was raining, and yes, he was soaked to the bone. But he knew he had to do this. He had to face her sooner or later. Might as well rip the band-aid off now.<p>

Of course it had been Jules who had been the one to figure him out. And of course she would tell the chief. Her sense of the law took precendent to anything else. Besides, how could he have thought he could hide something like this from someone as perceptive as her? To be honest, he was surprised that he managed to keep it a secret for this long.

The door opened as he was about to knock. A bright beam of light from inside hit him at the same time a large, heavy duffel bag did. His breath whooshed out of him, and he barely managed to catch hold of the railing before he fell.

"Get out of here, Shawn." The door slammed shut, the light disappeared. He stood there, stunned, for a second before his senses kicked in. He fumbled with his keys, found the right one, and frowned when it didn't fit.

Of course she would change the locks.

Shawn pounded his hand against the cold wooden surface of the door, calling Juliet's name. He didn't blame her for being angry. If their roles were reversed, he would be furious too. But he still clung to a shred of hope that they would be able to talk it out and salvage whatever was left of their relationship.

The door opened again, and he came face-to-face with a very pissed Jules.

"What?" she spat at him, blocking the doorway with her body, preventing him from coming in from the rain. As she glared up at him, Shawn found himself amazed that such a tiny creature could be so intimidating.

"Jules, I'm so sorry. I really am. I would have told you. I really would have, but I was still trying to figure out a way to tell you without running the risk of you being implicated if anyone else ever found out."

"How very thoughtful of you," she snarled, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"It was a mistake-"

"Like _hell_ it was!" She stepped outside and jabbed a finger in his chest. "You lied not only to me, but to the entire SBPD for almost eight years! You deliberately told us something that wasn't true for that long, and then you have the gall to come here and tell me that it was a _mistake_?"

Shawn had always had a way with words. He could play with them, arrange them, manipulate them in a way no one else could, something that made Shawn uniquely him. Everyone would stop to listen, even if it was in annoyance. A few sentences from him could talk down a dangerous criminal, cheer up a room full of sullen detectives, put a smile on Juliet's face...

That was how he knew he was in trouble when he didn't know what to say.

He floundered around to find the words that would fix all this. He didn't know how to say what he was thinking. He couldn't think of something to say that was both true and that would calm Jules down.

"I'm so, so sorry, Jules. I never meant for this to happen. I _never_ wanted to hurt you." He sighed and ran a hand through his drenched hair. He didn't know what else to say. "Maybe I should leave."

Jules nodded, not knowing the full implication of his words. She didn't know about his life before, about the other time he'd simply disappeared off the face of the earth. She wouldn't know he didn't just mean he should leave their apartment. There was no way she could know he meant he was leaving Santa Barbara. Maybe leaving the state. Possibly even leaving the country. There was nothing left for him here, anyway. Psych was closed for good, with no hope of ever opening again. He was out of a job, and had no place to stay, now.

"I just need to say one more thing before I-"

"Shawn." Her voice was quiet, but he could hear the fury ring clear underneath it. "I have an aluminum baseball bat just inside this apartment. If you don't get off this doorstep in ten seconds, I _will _go get it and break your kneecaps. Got it?"

He had no choice but to walk away. He watched her disappear inside their apartment before riding off on his motorcycle. There was just one more order of business for him to take care of.

* * *

><p>The inside of the SBPD looked like a ghost town. Either everyone had gone home for the night, or they were all out chasing suspects. Shawn had no idea which was right, but either way it made his mission that much easier.<p>

He slipped through the hallways, stopping at Juliet's desk. He scribbled a quick note, taped it to the box he'd brought, and carefully placed both of them in the top drawer of the desk. he took in the empty bullpen one last time, then left as quickly and quietly as he'd come.

He almost made it out unnoticed.

"Mr. Spencer, what do you think you're doing here?" Shawn froze as he recognized the voice coming behind him.

"Saying goodbye, Chief. Nothing more," he replied, spinning on his heel. She strode over to him slowly, eyeing him suspiciously.

"What did I see you putting in detective O'Hara's desk?"

"Just something for her to remember me by," Shawn said, straddling his motorcycle. Chief Vick's eyebrows raised slightly, silently asking him to explain more.

"Chief, please, I can't-" She held up her hand, cutting him off.

"I'll make sure she finds it."

She didn't say anything else. She didn't have to. Shawn gave her a nod of appreciation, gave the throttle a firm twist, and then he was gone.

Moving.

Going.

Leaving.

Changing.

* * *

><p><strong>Soooooo... what do you think? One-shot or Two-shot?<strong>

**The next chapter would be in Jules's POV, just btw.**

**Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright, so everyone pretty much agreed on this. So, I present to you the second part of this (now) two-shot.**

* * *

><p>Jules was furious, and everyone knew it. They could tell by the way she stormed over to her desk, the frosty silence, the way she snapped at Buzz for no reason. People also noted that their resident psychic consultant was MIA.<p>

Jules knew that Chief Vick hadn't told the rest of the department of Shawn's lie. She wanted to keep things under wraps for as long as possible. Unfortunately, with a department full of people trained to notice the smallest of details, this would be no easy feat. By now, everyone was used to the "psychic" walking in on a whim and completely stirring everything up. The fact that he wasn't there wouldn't escape their notice.

Jules, on the other hand, was getting annoyed by the stares people were giving her. Yes, she was irritable and grumpy, but they'd all dealt with Lassiter's moodinss long before this. She hated it. She hated feeling like a caged animal. Above all, though, she couldn't seem to get over Shawn's lie.

_"I'm Psychic."_

How stupid she was to have believed him! And for so long too. How could she have not seen the truth while it was right under her nose? It was her job to read people. To know what they were thinking. To be able to call a bluff. To detect a lie when she heard it. So how had she missed this one?

_'Because I trusted him_,' She thought bitterly. Carlton had even warned her that all romance ended in dispair. She should have listened.

"O'Hara!" Chief Vick's voice jolted her from her thoughts. "In my office. Now." Jules reluctantly stood up and followed the chief back into the small office.

"Yes, Chief?"

"I'm sure you are aware that Mr. Spencer and Mr. Guster have closed Psych, correct?" Jules nodded stiffly. Of course they would. After their secret got out to everyone, Psych would be under scrutiny by the entire public. It was better that it closed down now.

"Are you also aware that Mr. Spencer came by here last night?" Confusion flashed across Juliet's face for a second before she hid it again. Why would Shawn come here? He didn't work for them anymore, and if he been looking for her, he knew she would be at the apartment.

"What time was he here?"

"Just after 10:30." Jules's eyebrows furrowed together. That was after she had kicked Shawn out of the apartment. Why had he come here if he wasn't looking for her?

"Chief, did-"

"He said he was coming to say goodbye. Other than the obvious reason, is there any reason at all that you can think of that would lead him to come here to 'say goodbye'?"

"No, Chief," Jules said_. _"What is this about?"

"Mr. Guster came in this morning with a very... strange voice mail from Mr. Spencer." The chief hit a button on a recorder sitting on her desk. Static crackled through the speakers for a second, and then Shawn's voice filled the room.

_"Hey, Buddy."_ His voice was soft and serious, nothing like it normally was. _"I really, really hope you don't get this until at least 8:00 am. That way I might have a hope of getting a decent head start." _He sighed.

_"I'm so sorry for doing this to you again. I really am. But you can't say you didn't see this coming. You know me too well for your own good. You knew this would happen as soon as Psych closed. I could see it in your eyes._

_I left you an envelope of money that should cover the rent payments for the rest of the lease. After that, you know what to do. I promise you, this will not be the last time you hear from me. Not like last time. Maybe I'll even drop by a few times. Who knows? Anyway, I guess I'll be seeing you. And please, don't tell Jules. She's already gone through enough this week. She doesn't need this on top of it._

_"Goodbye, Gus."_

Juliet closed her eyes, trying to hide the tears that were beginning to well up in her eyes. A million questions raced through her mind. Shawn was gone? Gone where? Why was he gone?

Was she the reason he left?

"Chief," she whispered. "Chief, we got into a fight last night. He said that maybe he should leave, and I thought he meant the apartment. I didn't know he meant leave for good..." Chief Vick sighed and ran a hand down her face, debating whether she should tell her Junior Detective about the box Shawn had left.

"O'Hara, listen to me. When Shawn came by here last night, he left something in the top drawer of you desk. I want you to go get it, and then take the rest of the day off. If what I suspect Shawn left is correct, you'll need it." Juliet nodded and turned to leave.

"And O'Hara?" Jules turned to face the chief again. "Tell Lassiter to relax. And I'm sorry." She nodded again and closed the door quietly behind her.

Crossing the room, she noticed that Carlton kept glancing nervously over his shoulder, as if he expected the fake psychic to come waltzing through the doors and turn his day completely upside down. No one knew how much Jules wanted for that to happen now.

She squeezed past Lassiter to her desk and yanked the drawer open with more force than was really necessary. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary until she shuffled through its contents a bit. After digging through it for a few seconds, she caught sight of a piece of paper with Shawn's messy scrawl on it. Her eyes scanned the note, and she suddenly fell backwards into her chair, much to the alarm of her partner. Still clutching the note, she buried her face in her hands.

_I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Don't forget us._

_Shawn_

Four sentences. Twelve total words. Fifteen syllables. That was all it took to steal her breath and shatter her world to tiny, microscopic pieces.

He was really gone, then. He was gone, and it was doubtful that he would ever be back. Jules knew instinctively that he would make it next to impossible to find him, too. You'd have to be psychic. She almost laughed out loud at that thought. How ironic.

Suddenly she was aware of Lassiter and Buzz asking her if she was alright. Demanding seemed more accurate. She wasn't positive what she answered, but it got them off her back, at least.

"Get the chief. Now." Lassiter's voice was deathly calm, yet authoritive. He knelt beside her, rubbing small circles on her back. She felt gratitude towards her partner. Her loyal, protective partner. If there was one thing she was sure of, it was that Carlton Lassiter would never hurt her willingly.

"What happened?" she heard the chief demand.

"I don't know. She just fell into her chair and started sobbing." Was she really sobbing? How had she not noticed? How odd...

She found herself rising to her feet and walking past everyone that had gathered around her desk. Out the door. Past her car. No one followed her or tried to stop her. She wasn't sure where she was going. To be honest, she didn't really care either.

She felt utterly empty. No, it was more than that. She was hollow and broken. There was only one person who could pick un the pieces and fix her. And he had vanished last night without a trace. She knew he most likely wouldn't be coming back. Ever.

* * *

><p>Jules didn't open the box right away. She decided to save it for the day she truly hit rock bottom. But, for now, she went through the motions and acted like she was fine, and that nothing was abnormal. She didn't know when the day she opened the box would come, but when her darkest hour did come, she would be prepared. She kept the note in her wallet for the days she thought would never end.<p>

He co-workers would say that she had become obsessed with pineapple. She'd begun to use Shawn's favorite brand of pineapple scented shampoo, and she always had pineapple flavored chapstick on hand. She always kept a fresh pineapple in the apartment. And she always treated herself to a pineapple smoothie whenever they closed a case.

After a particularly long and stressful day about three weeks after Shawn left, Jules was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to curl up on her couch and watch a movie. As soon as she entered the apartment, she tossed her keys on the counter... and found that her pineapple was missing. All thoughts of her horrible day flew out of her mind as her heart leapt up into her throat.

"Shawn?" she called, stepping through the doorway into the living room. "Shawn? Are you here? Where are you?" She tore the the apartment, thoroughly searching each and every room. She opened every closet and checked under every piece of furniture, all the while howling Shawn's name. It was only after she had checked the entire apartment that she remembered that she'd had to throw the pineapple out this morning and hadn't had time to buy a new one. She sank to her knees on her bedroom floor.

"Shawn," she moaned, gripping her head between her fists. "Where are you?"

Jules dove towards her bedside table, grabbing for the drawer where she kept the box safely stored. She pawed through its contents before she finally found it. She ripped through the tape with her nails, pulled back the cardboard flaps, turned the package upside down and shook the contents into her hand. He breath hitched in her throat as she stared at the item in her palm.

It was a tiny velvet box.

She kenw what was in it. Anyone would. She opened it anyway, but was shocked to find that the ring she had been expecting wasn't there. Instead, a small oval-shaped locked was nestled there. the light from the window relfected off its smooth surface as she turned it over in her hand. Finally, her curiosity got the best of her, and she nearly started crying when she saw the inside.

The words 'Marry me?" were engraved on the left side. On the right side was a picture of Shawn on one knee, holding out a ring.

Maybe it wasn't the most traditional way to propose, but then again, Shawn had never done things the traditional way. This way was much more unique, something that was so... Shawn.

She climbed into her too-big bed and curled her fist around the locket. She didn't want to be the only person to put the locket around her neck. She wanted Shawn to be here, kneeling in front of her, asking her to marry her in person. Not from wherever he was currently. She wanted him to hear her say yes, wanted for him to scoop her up and hold her close and kiss her like he'd never see her again. She wanted to hear him call her beautiful again.

She wanted her life back.

* * *

><p><strong>One more? Or is that overkill?<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright, I thought that this would be good where it ended in the last chapter and that all the readers would make up their own ending. But apparently I was wrong, and so here's the resolution of a sort.**

* * *

><p>The weeks slowly turned to months, and before she knew it, it had been almost a year since Jules had last seen Shawn. She'd long ago accepted the fact that he was long gone. That he would never return.<p>

That wasn't to say it didn't still hurt.

She couldn't pinpoint exactly when she stopped hoping Shawn would come home, but then again a lot of things in life were like that. You couldn't exactly pinpoint that moment when things went wrong and changed forever. She was numb to the emptiness now, and had been for a while now. She was able to go through the motions and act like she was bouncing back. She could pass the old psych building and not have to stop to catch her breath. The place was a clothing store now. It seemed so strange to her.

She often dreamt of Shawn, though those dreams were fading. She couldn't see his face in perfect clarity. It bothered her.

Jules woke to the shrill sound of the phone ringing. She threw the covers off and made a mad dash for the phone, reaching it just as it rang the fifth time.

"Hello?"

"Happy Birthday Juliet!" As always, she felt disappointment when it wasn't Shawn's voice on the other side of the line.

"Thanks, Mom."

"So what are you doing today?" her mother asked eagerly. "Did your chief give you the day off?" Jules could imagine her mom twirling the phone cord around her finger, listening intently to each of her replies.

"No, I have work. They're probably going to try and surprise me, and Carlton will let me take lead on a case or two, maybe." And Shawn will still be somewhere else. Maybe thinking about her, maybe not. Either way, he wasn't here to spend her birthday with her.

"Oh well, I'll let you go, then. Have a great day, Honey!"

"Thanks, Mom. I will."

"Bye!"

"Bye Mom." The line went dead with a little click, and she went to get ready. As she was getting ready to leave, she hesitated for a second, her fingers lingering on the locket. She only wore it on special occaisions, not wanting to lose it or damage it. Deciding that today was special enough, she fastened it around her neck and tucked it beneath her shirt.

Everyone at the station wished her a happy birthday as she passed, and Buzz had even gone and bought a cake for her. Needless to say, it was gone within the hour. She found a small pile of presents and cards sitting on her desk, most of them gift cards to store they knew she liked, and another package of pineapple chapstick, which she'd remarked offhand she was running low on to Lassiter. It was good to know he listened to her at least some of the time.

"O'Hara, I've got a present for you." She turned to find the Chief standing behind her, stoic and unsmiling. A dead giveaway that she had a case. She stood and followed the chief and her partner into the small office and took the file that was handed to her.

"Does the name Miguel Cortez mean anything to either of you?"

"Of course. He's the asshole who always gets away," Lassiter replied almost instantly. "He's got countless charges of assault against him, as well as one for murder."

"Not to mention he's a drug dealer," Jules added.

"We've recieved an anonymous tip saying that Mr. Cortez has a small business running in an abandoned warehouse-"

"So original," Lassiter snorted, earning him a glare from Chief Vick.

"-and I want you to find him and bring him in. We have reason to believe that he's armed and dangerous."

"Should we go undercover? Wouldn't it be easier to get in if we pretend we're some junkies looking for a hit?"

"I don't think that will be necessary," the chief said. "Just be careful."

Thirty minutes later, they were sitting in an disguised car, just across the street from the warehouse. Jules was peering through a pair of binoculars, trying to see if she could get a glimpse of anything. So far, nothing was happening, and she was getting antsy.

"O'Hara, if you don't stop fidgeting, I'm kicking you out of this car right now." She tried to keep still, but her thought kept turning to Shawn, making her squirm. She knew that if he were here, he'd be able to tell her what they should do. Or, at the very least, he would lighten the mood, or annoy Lassiter just to make her laugh. She handed the binoculars to Lassiter and stared out her window.

Sometimes she missed him so much it hurt. She felt like her chest was empty, like it would swallow her whole from the inside out. She would give anything to have even one minute with him. Sometimes, when she was working on a case, she would close her eyes and pretend like Shawn was next to her, chatting breezily and giving her instructions. Imaginary Shawn would hold her hand and kiss her and tell her that he loved her.

Imaginary Shawn wouldn't leave.

"I've got movement. Let's go." Her eyes snapped open as Lassiter started the car. He focused his sights straight ahead, and therefore didn't see the car. There was a horrific screech of tires and gravel flying and then suddenly the car was airborne. They were tumbling over and over and Jules could hear a woman screaming. Distantly, she realized it was her own voice screaming as everything faded out.

* * *

><p>There was pain everywhere, and everything was pain. Oh God, she was dying and Shawn wasn't there with her. She tried to move her hand to grope at her neck for the locket. But it wouldn't move.<p>

Her vision was fading, and suddenly she was flying. There were faces all around. Strangers and friends. Even Shawn, in perfect clarity. That was how she knew she was dead. Or maybe not. Maybe she was still just dying. Everything was flashing from brightness to darkness every few seconds. She was cold all over.

Black.

White.

Black.

White.

Black.

Everything faded out again, and she knew she had died.

* * *

><p>It was bright and much too uncomfortable. Everything was white. her entire body felt stiff and cold, with the exception of her right hand. Turning her head, she realized there was a man holding her hand. She couldn't see his face, just a mess of brown hair. With her left hand, she first ripped the oxygen tube that rested just below her nose, then reached out to touch the man. She had to know...<p>

His head snapped up as soon as her fingers made contact with her skin. His eyes were red and bleary with sleep, and she could tell he hadn't shaved for a few days. His hazel eyes roamed her face for a second before resting on her own blue eyes.

"Am I dead, then?" Her voice came out as a hoarse whisper, her throat thick.

"What? No! No, of course not, sweetheart. Why would you think that?"

"What are you doing here?" Hurt flashed across his face, and then it was gone. His mask went up, but she could see how much it killed him inside.

"I could leave, if that's what you want." She shook her head frantically, ignoring the stabbing pain she felt in her head and neck.

"No! I meant how did you find out?"

"I heard on the police scanner that Detectives Lassiter and O'Hara had been injured in a car wreck," he said solemnly, pressing her hand against his warm lips. "I had to see if you were okay." He pressed his forehead against hers, and she closed her eyes. "Besides, you didn't think I would let you celebrate your birthday without me, did you?" He slowly pulled back, taking her hand again.

"Where's Carlton?"

"Lassie? He's fine. He's in another room just down the hall. Nothing but a couple of minor bruises and cuts," Shawn replied. "You got the brunt of the impact..." He gently stroked her face, secretly pleased by the fact that she was allowing him to do this. The last time he'd seen her, she'd been furious at him, and would have never let him anywhere near her.

"How bad is it?"

"It was touch-and-go for a little bit, but the doctors said you should be fine." He knew better than to tell her that he had been standing right there when her heart had stopped. He wouldn't tell her how he panicked and fought to get to her, but lost. He wouldn't tell her how broken she looked, lying on the gurney.

He remembered that terrifying moment when he heard her name over the police scanner. He'd been passing through and decided to check up on Gus and his dad. Henry had been furious at him for not contacting him, but eventually calmed down enough for Shawn to enjoy the visit a little. he hadn't realized how much he missed his dad. When he left, he headed straight for Gus's place, eager to see his lifelong best friend. They'd been playfully bickering again like the old days when a voice, barely audible, can on the police scanner. He'd turned it up and listened in horror as he heard the news.

He and Gus had been one of the first people there. The car, completely flipped onto its roof, was unsalvageable and he wasn't sure if it was his mind playing tricks on him or not, but he could have sworn he saw a mess of blonde hair from beneath the overturned vehicle. He'd screamed her name over and over as Gus held him back. When the EMTs finally got both Lassiter and Juliet out of the car, he almost broke down. He caught a glimpse of the locket, and then he had been running towards her, grabbing for her hand.

"I'm her fiancé!" He'd yelled when they tried to push him away. "Please, let me be with her!"

He was honestly surprised when they allowed him in.

He remembered the horror her felt when that shrill whine started. He'd heard them yelling "Code blue!" and then they were blocking him from her. He remembered how he'd fought almost savagely to get to her, to help her in any way. He remembered the shaken relief everyone felt when her heart started beating again.

"Shawn?" He realized he'd begun to cry silently. Shre reached out to touch his cheek, and he gently crushed her to his chest and cradled her there. She stiffened for a second, then moaned as it aggravated her wounds.

"Sorry!" he apologized quickly. "I'm so sorry. I just... I love you so much. I don't want to lose you." he squeezed her hand as the pain faded, and she was left feeling as though she'd run a marathon. Her eyes drooped, and she fought her heavy lids. She was still partially convinced that if she fell asleep, Shawn wouldn't be there when she woke up.

"Sleep, Jules," he whispered, carefully climbing into the bed with her. "I'll be here. I promise. I'm never leaving again. Just sleep." As her eyes slid closed, one thought ran through her mind.

_Maybe he is psychic afterall._


End file.
